Many of us, as women, find it difficult to accept and love our bodies and the more subtle parts of ourselves just as we are. We’ve struggled from early in life with critical judgments of our bodies, our minds and our abilities. We may be skillful at caring for others, and yet often can’t find compassion and peace for ourselves.
And many of us have learned to care so much about what others think and need that we’ve lost touch with our own needs and natural boundaries. We have stuffed our anger into dark places and blocked its expression by using food and other substances and strategies to pretend it doesn’t exist.
We have learned to use food to support our needs for connection and safety, and for other insecurities that have arisen along the way. Sometimes food has seemed our best friend as we have scrambled to survive in what can appear as a hostile world. And yet food has also become our enemy as we have used it to deny our true nature.
In this class we will take a deep look at our relationship with food, at the beliefs we have accumulated and the strategies we’ve developed to deal with these beliefs. And we’ll discover new strategies – using mindfulness inquiry tools and unconditional caring for ourselves (and others) – to fashion supportive pathways of behavior. Some focus points of our inquiries will be:
As we face our cravings and allow them to be experienced with deep attention, we can begin to understand our true longings and open to them. And as we face our shame and other facets of unworthiness in our minds’ judgments, we can hold them until they come “home” and re-enter a place of calm power in our core.
In each class we will begin with a guided rest. We will share our stories, struggles and victories with our eating compulsions. And we will practice the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries to discover and unravel the tangled beliefs we’ve acquired throughout our lives, and which are no longer serving us.
We will learn and practice tools of self-inquiry, so we can turn towards our daily challenges and meet them with compassion and curiosity. As our old beliefs gradually unravel, we can embrace ourselves just as we are, and begin the unwinding of our compulsive behaviors.
Along with the six weekly classes, private sessions are available (and highly recommended) between classes for inquiring more deeply into our personal struggles with food. And following the completion of the weekly classes, an ongoing support group will be available for continued support.
My compulsive tendencies with food began at around age 11 when I experienced a sense of being alone in my life. My parents weren’t able to support me emotionally and psychologically. I felt anxious about my body after receiving feedback that I was “fat” from a boy in my class. Actually, I was just a bit chubby at that point, but this boy’s taunting pushed me to feel inadequate and unacceptable, and definitely less attractive than other girls. It was easy to turn to food for comfort and soothing.
In my 20’s I started meditating, which helped immensely to give me a sense of peace while I sat quietly. But my relationships with others were often still confusing and upsetting. I tried desperately to please everyone else while denying my own needs and worthiness. And my dependency on food continued and escalated.
In 2012 I started my training as a facilitator of Scott Kiloby’s inquiries and I have been practicing and facilitating the inquiries since that time. My relationship with food continues to heal and transform, as old fears continue to arise, be recognized, and release.
The big change for me has been a growing sense of self-acceptance and stability. Anguish about my body has largely dissolved. As I have become more able to accept and embrace myself, just as I am, the core experience of inner peace has deepened, and the need for support from food has lessened. Food is becoming an ally once again, where it once held me in fear and despair.
I am so very happy to bring the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries into this important realm of Women and Food. I find individual and group work with other women to be especially supportive in my own healing.
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Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby.
A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release.
Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large.
He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center.
Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering.
A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.
To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).
Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.
For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.
In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.
In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.
In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.
Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.
I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.
As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.
So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament.
I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!
Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world.
I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.
Sumitra lives on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with some of her family. She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).
Sumitra also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple (though not always easy) deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.