There Is a Simple Freedom

I came crashing into books and videos on nondual awakening a number of years ago, wide-eyed and naive in many ways. I had no earthly idea where any of it would lead. I just knew that trying to get somewhere hadn’t been working. Trying to get love, trying to get drugs that would keep me high, trying to be more attractive, trying to be an artist. All that trying led to a kind of apathetic futility with life. So trying to be enlightened instantly made no sense, yet something drew me to the teachings.

Certainly I thought that awakening would give me everything I had never been able to find before. Under the surface, there was a belief that it would give me the ability to not have to feel pain anymore.

I was mistaken in every way. Come to find out, the only way out is through.

Along the way, I met those who were certain that freedom was about not being a self, or seeing through self and even about re-owning self. I made friends with them. I took on their dogma. I tried it on like a new pair of clothes. I paraded it around proudly. Yet it gave me nothing. In the end, it was second hand knowledge. It was not authentic. There are no insights that I am willing to buy into as a way to try to be or have or know anything. I traveled down the middle way, the right way, the left way and the no way. I was certain that it was all about Oneness and then was certain that there was no Oneness. I was certain that it was all about the Now and then certain that the Now was just a woo-woo spiritual concept, overused and empty. In the end, it hasn’t been about any of those things or non-things. I know nothing about the Tao or whether it can be spoken or not.

It has been about basking in uncertainty, basking in the simplicity of what is arising right now. Nothing more, nothing less. Expecting nothing more and expecting nothing less than what is.  Love, bliss, light and Oneness sell. They sell books. They feel good.  They garner Facebook likes. They captivate the mind. But they are just by-products, things that happen. Nothing that happens lasts. That’s what is so beautiful about life. Because nothing is permanent, everything is so VERY important. Every single thing. Every single thought. Every single moment of bliss. Every spiritual experience. Every mundane experience. Every single moment of deep pain. Every tear I shed in the face of relentless compassion for another human being who is suffering.  Every burst of anger that feels as if it will make my body explode. 

Every moment of seeing that there is no body to explode. 

Every single emotion. There is a simple freedom that desires nothing more than what is actually appearing right now.

To hang onto any insight, state or experience is to live in the past or push towards a future, unable to meet what actually happens right here in the present. None of that clinging has any value anymore. So no matter what is out there being sold, I am not buying. I am not trying. And I am certainly not selling the notion that I am truly awakened because I am not buying or trying any of that on anymore. I could care less about being truly awakened or being above or below any of that.

There has been no way to escape life. I have tried every angle. I tried to bypass in every way that I could. I wanted to be the Witness. I wanted to be the all pervading Oneness. I wanted to be special. I even wanted to be nobody, when somebody told me that being nobody was the true awakening. I wanted something to be true. Something to last. Something to keep me from having to see that the only way out is through. I wanted to escape basically.

Seeing that escape is not possible and that, even when it seems possible, it doesn’t work, what was left was the clear seeing that awakening is not about special or magical things or experiences. It is not about love, light, bliss or even peace.  It is not about being a guru, having a guru or hating gurus. 

Certainly, those things or states have come and gone, just as agony and despair have come and gone.  

In the end, I cannot say that it is about anything other than just being right here, typing these words and not trying to be anything other than that. For so long, the notion that being free meant just being right here and doing whatever I am doing seemed so mundane, so ordinary, so not what I expected freedom to be. 

All that seeking for something other than typing these words was so very stressful.

But there is a simple freedom in not trying to be any of the things or no-things mentioned above. 

And not trying to be above those things either. There is a simple freedom in not caring whether I am awakened or whether there is an “I” to awaken. There is a simple freedom in not caring whether you think I am awakened or not. There is a simple freedom in not trying to understand. There is a simple freedom in not caring whether someone thinks these words are enlightened or not or whether I think I am above any one else, more or less awakened than anyone else.

There is a simple freedom in not caring whether these words get read or this post gets likes. There is a simple freedom in deleting your comment if you seem like an a-hole and not trying to be spiritual about any of that. 

There is a simple freedom in not trying to sound poetic or inspired. There is a simple freedom in just typing these words. There is a simple freedom. That’s all. Maybe that’s not what I expected, but that’s what is happening. Thankfully, what is happening is enough. More than enough. In fact, it couldn’t be any other way. That’s what makes it so freeing.

"Working with Dan has been nothing short of transformational. His open heart, honesty about his personal experience and permission to be real and not hide have helped me unlock those qualities in myself. And that has been a total game changer. I've been truly blessed, not only to have him as my KI Facilitator, but also as my mentor. Without a doubt, working with him has helped me to show up authentically, helped sharpen my tools and made me a better facilitator than I would've been on my own. I can't recommend him enough."
Darby Totten
Certified KI Facilitator

Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby. 

A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release. 

Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large. 

He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center. 

Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering. 

What is a Clarity Call?

What is a Clarity Call?

A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.

To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).

Valerie Vinger is a thriving survivor of life’s painful challenges and growth opportunities. She has worked with 12-step programs and is currently a 13-year stage-III cancer survivor. Her cancer recovery journey started with the traditional “cut, poison, burn” approach but eventually led her down a natural path to healing her body, her pain and suffering, and her buried emotions.

Valerie first stumbled upon Scott Kiloby at a workshop of his in Boulder, Colorado in 2012, which she says is one of the most transformative experiences she’s ever had. She is filled with gratitude for the person she has become through her journey with cancer recovery and with the Inquiries, which she describes as “coming home to myself.” She loves working with people who are ready for relief from their pain and suffering.

Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.

About Julianne:

For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.

In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.

In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.

In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.

Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.

I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.

As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.

So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament. 

I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!

Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world. 

I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.

Sumitra lives on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with some of her family. She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).

Sumitra also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple (though not always easy) deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.

Alina is a certified KI facilitator & a founder of Presence Alchemy – An advance mindfulness platform dedicated to liberating suffering & limiting core beliefs through Kiloby Inquiries & non-dual awareness. Presence Alchemy was born eight years into Alina’s embodiment journey of an inner shift from ego to wakefulness. Alina works one-on-one with clients, hosts online intensives and training, and organizes local retreats & workshops.
Alec Rodrigues has been certified to facilitate inquiry since 2015 and brings a keen sense of intuition to his work. He believes that in connection, the deepest healing takes place, that the mirror of relationship is the best crucible for transformation. Through rest and inquiry, Alec has found the empowerment to meet others authentically and stop running so damn fast from the seeming “ordinariness” of life.

He currently lives in Washington state with his girlfriend and works as a training assistant for the KI Personal Mentorship Program, where he empowers enrollees by teaching them the KI tools.