The Naked Free Fall

Look at any object—self, other, tree, injustice, enlightenment.  The object doesn’t have to be a physically solid object like a tree.  It can be anything.

Stop for one moment and relax your labels about the object.

Notice that the object says nothing on its own side.  It doesn’t announce itself as being the particular object—e.g., person—nor does it say anything about itself.  It doesn’t even call itself by a simple label like “thing” or “object.”  It doesn’t announce itself as having any color.  It never speaks.  Just stop and listen and look and notice this.

Stop and be very quiet.  Listen to the universe.  Do this often throughout the day. 

Notice that no object is identifying itself or talking about itself.  An object arises, with its name and its meaning, only through the voice in our heads, through thoughts, emotions, and sensations that we place upon it.

Everything perceived about an object is contained within thoughts, emotions, and sensations.

For example, if the object you are looking at is a person, stop and notice that the perception of sensation reveals touch, color, shape, and sound, all of which are appearing to a basic awareness—YOU.

But don’t leave it there.  Notice that even the labels “touch, color, shape, and sound” are thoughts.  These thoughts are not embedded into the object “other.”  They are not happening on THAT side.  They are thoughts.  And notice that these thoughts are happening to awareness—YOU.

But don’t leave it there.  Notice that all the viewpoints that you have about this object—person—are thoughts.  Every single idea, belief, or story that seems to come with the person, as if it is embedded IN the person is actually a thought.  Even thoughts about how far the person is standing from your body are thoughts.  These thoughts are not coming from THAT side, from the side of the person.  These stories, measurements, and relative things cannot be known without thoughts.  Notice that no object carries your stories and viewpoints of it when it comes into experience.  All stories, labels, and viewpoints are thoughts.  And all thoughts are appearing to awareness—YOU.

But don’t leave it there.  Notice that when you tell nice and happy stories about this object or when you tell stories about how this object is mean or selfish, those emotions are not happening on THAT side.  They are emotions that come with the particular thoughts you are emphasizing.  And all emotions are appearing to awareness—YOU.

But don’t leave it there.  Notice that there is no separate YOU.  There is no separate body first of all.  If it seems like all these things are appearing to you, which is something in the body, go back to the top of this writing.  Stop and notice that the body, as an object, is like all other objects.  It is made up of thoughts, emotions, and sensations.

There is also no separate awareness aware of things appearing, like people, colors, shapes, thoughts, and emotions.  Try to find the dividing line between what you call awareness and the next thought that arises, or the dividing line between what you call awareness and colors, sounds, and emotions.  The dividing line itself is a thought.

So what is that dividing thought appearing to?   Don’t be fooled.  Whatever you say it is appearing to . . .  is another thought, which is just a temporary appearance.

But don’t leave it there.  Notice that there really aren’t separate things called thoughts, emotions, and sensations.  These are just words describing experience, cutting it up in pieces.  When you aren’t labeling a thought, a “thought,” do you know what it is?  Do you know it’s a separate thing?  How about an “emotion?”  A “sensation?”

How about awareness?  Do you know awareness is here when you aren’t thinking about it?  This can be tricky to see because you may want to go right back into claiming that there is awareness here that is aware of those things.  But that is still dualistic.  It is still thinking.  We are addicted to our nouns.  So we often replace the word “me” as a center for other words like “awareness” or “being.”  Mental certainty has such a pull to it.  It’s an addiction.

We love our centers and we love our sides.  But neither of those things are really here, except in thoughts.  This is why the child starving in Africa is just as much YOU as your own body is you.  Awakening has tremendous implications for human life.  Love, love, love all the way, up and down, left and right.  Yikes.  Do you know this?  If not, it just means you are resting on some sense of separation or some mental certainty or insight.  Jump off, completely.

Don’t even leave it in the notion that things are real or unreal or that they exist or don’t exist.  That’s lazy.  Don’t look for mental certainty.  Don’t sell yourself short.  Let all insights burn up in the fire of freedom.  Otherwise you can become addicted to your thoughts about awareness, awakening, nonduality or your thoughts about how these are not real things.  Relax your tendency to sum it all up with things like “it’s all awareness”, no self, being, or Oneness.

Relax your viewpoints about how there are things, people, minds, colors, sights, sounds, emotions, and thoughts as well as your thoughts about the non-existence of those things.  Speak your mind all you want.  Express yourself.  But watch the tendency to “sum things up” as if you are speaking truth.  Notice that every word you speak falls away in an instant, disappears completely.  Enjoy the freefall that arises when you see that.

You don’t live in a world of separate things.  You also don’t live in a Void where there are no separate things.

I’m inviting you into a free fall…

The mind can’t go here.  This is why Zen masters worked with koans.

Stand in the nakedness of this free fall.  Trust it completely.

The lure of wanting to understand may tempt you back into some conceptual box.  It’s a form of seeking.  Like a heroin junkie looking for a fix, the mind wants to return to its safe platitudes.  Do you see how the mind wants to call it “life,” “God,” “atoms,” “the universe,” “intelligence,” “clarity,” “nonduality” or “being?”  But those are just words too.  It is none of those things and it is all of those things.  Don’t be lured into turning your experience into another exclusive viewpoint, making all others wrong.  How can you really explain this mystery called life, really pin it down?  You can explain it in a trillion ways, but each explanation slips away like sand through your fingers.  You own none of the explanations.  Nothing is ever pinned down, yet many explanations are available.  Thoughts come and they go.  It’s that simple.

Be free from all dogmatic thinking, whatsoever.

There is no bedrock truth on this page.  Just words dancing together, inviting you into a free fall.

Stand in the nakedness of direct experience.  Let these words point you there.

That’s awakening.  When you experience the collapse of everything you know, you fall in love with experience, with living, even with appearances such as people, trees, thoughts, emotions, and sensations.  You see that these are fictions of mind but you enjoy them anyway.  You open your mouth to talk about yourself, others, and the world, knowing that it is illusory, but enjoying it anyway.  You continue moving, unfolding, and discovering life, but now with a wink and a nudge, as you experience the irony, paradox, compassion, freedom and love in seeing that there are no people or things, and yet everywhere you go there are people and things.  The mind can’t grasp this.  It can only be lived.  Don’t settle for anything less than direct experience.  This is juicy!  Entrenched beliefs about awakening or philosophical truths cannot give you this juice.  You must drink it up yourself.  See it in your own experience.

"Working with Dan has been nothing short of transformational. His open heart, honesty about his personal experience and permission to be real and not hide have helped me unlock those qualities in myself. And that has been a total game changer. I've been truly blessed, not only to have him as my KI Facilitator, but also as my mentor. Without a doubt, working with him has helped me to show up authentically, helped sharpen my tools and made me a better facilitator than I would've been on my own. I can't recommend him enough."
Darby Totten
Certified KI Facilitator

Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby. 

A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release. 

Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large. 

He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center. 

Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering. 

What is a Clarity Call?

What is a Clarity Call?

A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.

To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).

Valerie Vinger is a thriving survivor of life’s painful challenges and growth opportunities. She has worked with 12-step programs and is currently a 13-year stage-III cancer survivor. Her cancer recovery journey started with the traditional “cut, poison, burn” approach but eventually led her down a natural path to healing her body, her pain and suffering, and her buried emotions.

Valerie first stumbled upon Scott Kiloby at a workshop of his in Boulder, Colorado in 2012, which she says is one of the most transformative experiences she’s ever had. She is filled with gratitude for the person she has become through her journey with cancer recovery and with the Inquiries, which she describes as “coming home to myself.” She loves working with people who are ready for relief from their pain and suffering.

Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.

About Julianne:

For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.

In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.

In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.

In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.

Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.

I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.

As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.

So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament. 

I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!

Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world. 

I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.

Sumitra lives on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with some of her family. She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).

Sumitra also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple (though not always easy) deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.

Alina is a certified KI facilitator & a founder of Presence Alchemy – An advance mindfulness platform dedicated to liberating suffering & limiting core beliefs through Kiloby Inquiries & non-dual awareness. Presence Alchemy was born eight years into Alina’s embodiment journey of an inner shift from ego to wakefulness. Alina works one-on-one with clients, hosts online intensives and training, and organizes local retreats & workshops.
Alec Rodrigues has been certified to facilitate inquiry since 2015 and brings a keen sense of intuition to his work. He believes that in connection, the deepest healing takes place, that the mirror of relationship is the best crucible for transformation. Through rest and inquiry, Alec has found the empowerment to meet others authentically and stop running so damn fast from the seeming “ordinariness” of life.

He currently lives in Washington state with his girlfriend and works as a training assistant for the KI Personal Mentorship Program, where he empowers enrollees by teaching them the KI tools.