The Critical Mass and the Inner Revolution

We live in a world that is largely unevolved still. We are showing at least the outer signs of evolution. Our mobile-friendly lives, social media connectivity, scientific breakthroughs and other worldly advances reveal an everchanging human landscape that seems to be headed in a progressive direction. But, at least here in the West, we still experience a profound lack of connection to what we are and find many obstacles to true freedom, joy, creativity, contentment and peace. 

Many have not reached a place where they can truly soar, finding instead many of the same mental, emotional and spiritual limitations experienced by their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. The generations keep generating. The surface keeps getting shinier. But the core issues tend to remain the same, no matter how many new faces are born into the species. In many ways, there is a kind of regression happening, with people so disconnected from themselves and with each other that they find themselves burying their faces in screens even when they are two feet away from each other or in the company of loved ones.

We still seem hell bent on connecting from a place of deficiency, as if somewhere behind the face, in the deep cavens of the heart and soul, our real identity is “not enough.” This pervasive sense of “not enough” rears itself everywhere, in every relationship. Many have even given up the desire to recognize something greater than this inner sense of deficiency, reframing it instead as “just part of being human.” It’s as if the possibility of living from a more authentic, genuine, awakened, loving place feels so out of reach that they have resigned themselves to embracing, rather than investigating, this false mask.

The mask presents one thing to others, while deep down beyond the outer presentation, we lack the capacity to truly be ourselves, to show up exactly as we are, openly and unapologetically. We are largely out of touch with the basic insecurities that are fueling the majority of our needs and wants. We are easily triggered emotionally, falling back into old childhood patterns of conflict, pouting, blaming, complaining or projecting. We remain out of touch with these basic emotions, having over-intellectualized and over-analysed ourselves and each other. In the age of political and spiritual correctness, we are so out of touch with our own bodies and feelings that we have placed a premium on not hurting other peoples’ feelings. And so, like mother bears, we are protecting each other from evolving beyond our limited mental and emotional patterns. This lack of connection with our deeper emotional landscape places us at risk of heading down the same path we have been on for thousands of years.

What seems important for many people is how they look or appear to others, whether they have enough likes on Facebook, whether they are smarter than the next guy, whether they are “right” or “getting it right” or whether they have accumulated enough money, fame, attention or acknowledgment from the faceless masses. Of course not everyone is prone to these patterns. But there is some degree of it in most of us. We look on the outside for what we feel we lack within. And the promise to fill that void lies at every turn, in every TV commercial, job promotion, new relationship or addictive substance or activity. Even many modern forms of spirituality seem to focus a lot on these things. In some of those circles, it seems more important now to be part of a popular movement, to offer people a spiritual neverland or to build up a fantasic set of spiritual promises rather than invite a deep and radical investigation of our experience. In some ways, the spiritual teachers become the replacements for parents who did not act as proper role models or did not give the necessary love and attention. Deficiency is the fuel of our lives and relationships and we never seem to run out of it. It has such a cunning and stunning ability to survive each generation and to hide itself so well in every story, feeling and relationship that we are only dimly aware of just how much its running the show. It’s much ado about nothing. And that’s exactly what the deficiency story gives us – nothing – nothing more than the appearance of advancement, acknowledgment or fulfillment.

There is a kind of scarcity in this way of life that leaves many feeling empty, lost and heartbroken, unable to actualize their true creativity and potential in life. We do not love ourselves. And our culture is sending all the wrong signals about how to love ourselves. It is focusing on what lies on the outside and what is presented on the surface. We continue to buy into that culture instead of dismantling it from the inside.

We ought not to stand for it anymore. But what it takes to rise above that is not more promises coming from the outside. It is not a new IPhone or a new lover. It is not about the future, for the future is always at least a step away, if not more. We never reach it. It is not a spiritual neverland that holds itself out as a happy Hollywood movie ending. It is not the prospect that others do love, need and acknowledge us. What it takes is the courage to fully face these patterns of deficiency as they arise in the moment and to see through them, to immerse ourselves nakedly in the emotions we are trying so desperately to avoid. If we can take all that energy that is being projected outward onto others and onto the future and turn it in on ourselves with the power of mere observation, we have a chance at evolving in a much deeper and more transformative way.

But how we turn that looking towards our inner landscape makes all the difference, for we are prone to spiraling down into a kind of analysis paralysis as we look inward. There is this seductive pull towards over-conceptualizing ourselves, each other and our emotions. What I’m inviting here is not a reframing of our inner experience but rather a pure observing of it, of allowing it all to be exactly as it are. And along with that observation can come an investigation into these patterns, a dismantling of generations of false beliefs and patterns. There is a beautiful freedom in that, an embrace of everything. 

This embracing does not leave us merely complacently quoting pithy sayings like “I accept both my perfections and imperfections.” That’s the stuff of entry-level spirituality. It can go much deeper than that.

This investigation does not leave us in some blanked out, spaceless space of nirvana, for even that is a fleeting state. I’m not talking about nondual realization here either, for even that is merely a transient phase. No, this kind of looking, as long as there is no bypassing and there is a courage to be with absolutely everything, allows us to fully love and be ourselves. We leave behind attachments to past and future but also attachments to now and to all spiritual or special states and experiences. We come back into the world, realizing that we never left it. We love ourselves without being able to truly define ourselves. And this freedom which is no longer weighed down by concepts allows us to continue changing and evolving. Our hearts, minds and bodies remain pliable, able to adapt and move fluidly through all sorts of experiences – from love to heartache to grief or death. This can profoundly change how we see ourselves, each other and the world. It can unleash our creative potential so that it is no longer tied to wanting praise from others. Instead we become creative merely out of the pure and naked joy of creating – nothing more.  We naturally leave behind the generations of pain and deficiency.  Our relationships change. We are no longer tied to protecting other peoples’ feelings or getting love from others. We are no longer attached to each other in that old sticky way that feels stifling and needy.

We love with a sense of maturity, clarity and open-heartedness. We come closer to one another, connecting more deeply with one another, by simply putting the masks down.

And that, my friends, is not a promise. Promises imply that there is something to give, something that comes from the outside or is found in the future. All of this is already within you. All that it takes is the courage to look in the right way. Let no one tell you that you need anything more than the act of pure observation and the organic acceptance of experience that comes with it. The key to life is not hidden away in a profound text. It is not something we add to ourselves. Human life is no mistake. There is no need to correct it from the outside. Our love is held within our pain, waiting to break free once the pain is faced. Our promise land is our present awareness of everything that is already unfolding naturally. The greatest realization is not that there is some wonderful future state waiting for us. It is in the moment by moment seeing of what truly lies at the core of our present experience. As we see that nothing lies there, everything is possible. We are then like an empty slate that allows for life to be completely full and to evolve in a profoundly different way.  That’s how the generations of pain and deficiency fall away. That’s how we find connection with each other. That’s how we rediscover the pure joy of creating what we are here to create.  That’s how we get our heads out of the screens. 

That’s how we set healthy boundaries. 

That’s how we open up new possibilities for our children. 

That’s how we end the wars. 

That’s how we let others be who they are. 

That’s how we find our own unique expression in the world. 

That’s how we stop looking on the outside for what cannot fulfill us within.

That’s how we become what we were always meant to be – ourselves.

"Working with Dan has been nothing short of transformational. His open heart, honesty about his personal experience and permission to be real and not hide have helped me unlock those qualities in myself. And that has been a total game changer. I've been truly blessed, not only to have him as my KI Facilitator, but also as my mentor. Without a doubt, working with him has helped me to show up authentically, helped sharpen my tools and made me a better facilitator than I would've been on my own. I can't recommend him enough."
Darby Totten
Certified KI Facilitator

Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby. 

A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release. 

Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large. 

He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center. 

Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering. 

What is a Clarity Call?

What is a Clarity Call?

A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.

To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).

Valerie Vinger is a thriving survivor of life’s painful challenges and growth opportunities. She has worked with 12-step programs and is currently a 13-year stage-III cancer survivor. Her cancer recovery journey started with the traditional “cut, poison, burn” approach but eventually led her down a natural path to healing her body, her pain and suffering, and her buried emotions.

Valerie first stumbled upon Scott Kiloby at a workshop of his in Boulder, Colorado in 2012, which she says is one of the most transformative experiences she’s ever had. She is filled with gratitude for the person she has become through her journey with cancer recovery and with the Inquiries, which she describes as “coming home to myself.” She loves working with people who are ready for relief from their pain and suffering.

Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.

About Julianne:

For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.

In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.

In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.

In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.

Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.

I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.

As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.

So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament. 

I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!

Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world. 

I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.

Sumitra lives on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with some of her family. She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).

Sumitra also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple (though not always easy) deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.

Alina is a certified KI facilitator & a founder of Presence Alchemy – An advance mindfulness platform dedicated to liberating suffering & limiting core beliefs through Kiloby Inquiries & non-dual awareness. Presence Alchemy was born eight years into Alina’s embodiment journey of an inner shift from ego to wakefulness. Alina works one-on-one with clients, hosts online intensives and training, and organizes local retreats & workshops.
Alec Rodrigues has been certified to facilitate inquiry since 2015 and brings a keen sense of intuition to his work. He believes that in connection, the deepest healing takes place, that the mirror of relationship is the best crucible for transformation. Through rest and inquiry, Alec has found the empowerment to meet others authentically and stop running so damn fast from the seeming “ordinariness” of life.

He currently lives in Washington state with his girlfriend and works as a training assistant for the KI Personal Mentorship Program, where he empowers enrollees by teaching them the KI tools.