The Bliss of Infinite Patience

I now sit in bliss

A bliss that is built into the very fabric of my being

How this bliss came about is almost too unbelievable to explain

It defies the usual rules and understandings of society

While others were running away from the pain and discomfort in their bodies

I was sitting with mine, letting it come fully into the space of present awareness

While others were medicating their emotions and sensations

I was bathing in mine – naked and vulnerable

While others were chasing or following their bliss, I stayed with pain

As they passed me, I asked them, “Did you find your bliss yet?”

Mostly they would say, “no,” and then continue on their path

I did not follow that path

I sat down on the road, exactly where I was, refusing to move

I desired no bliss at all, instead I desired only my pain

I desired only what is

The pain oscillated from extremely excruciating to mildly annoying

I let those descriptions burn up in the fire of presence so that I could feel the pain more deeply, without the overlay of labels

I sat with infinite patience, in wordless wonder, and without expectation

I watched a million others pass me by, headed down the road, chasing the prospect of a future bliss that would eradicate their pain

Many of them seemed to find a bliss in worldly things, only to find that it was temporary

They would become weary again and would keep moving down the same path trying to recapture it over and over

I questioned why I was just sitting here many times

The answer came as a very quiet, intuitive voice. It simply said, “Sit with infinite patience.”

As I sat, I let every emotion and sensation be as it is, welcoming it more and more

The more painful it became, the more I loved it

Every now and then, I had to take a reprieve from this pain, for I am human like everyone else

I had to indulge and run from my pain like everyone else does

I did this to survive, like everyone else does

When shame, guilt and self-judgment arose out of the act of indulgence, I let those stories burn up in the fire too

Each time I returned to the pain and discomfort of my body, I returned with infinite patience

I desired the pain and discomfort of my body to stay

I made a home for it

I loved it absolutely and without reservation from a place of pure silence

I uttered very few words to it, so that I could fully hear what it had to say

I let it speak and then I just listened and observed, letting its song be heard and then vanish into thin air, line by lin

In the rare moments of speaking to my pain, I simply asked . . .

“When were you created?”

“Where does this hurt come from?”

“What are you protecting?”

Those words evoked stories which then burned up in the light

Each time my body became more painful or more uncomfortable

I went more deeply and more silently into it, trying to keep the pain and discomfort there through pure observation

Each time I felt the desire to resist or reject it, I loved the pain instead, and then loved the resistance and rejection of it

It spoke for years

It had a long story to tell – about childhood rejection, not being loved, not being good enough, not feeling safe, needing to protect itself

As each story burned up, I nurtured the sensation of pain as if it were my very own child

I sat with it for literally hours on end, never leaving its side

I did this while others were out in the world, finding ways to avoid their pain

I had the thought, “Am I missing something out in the world?”

That thought burned up too

I let my pain move freely and uninterruptedly within the stillness of the moment, with only the desire for it to be exactly as it is

And then there was a dawning . . .

A rebirth in which I realized that my pain and discomfort were gone

Like children that had been loved and nurtured for years, the pain and discomfort left the nest

They transmuted into presence

Now I sit in bliss

And I shall never follow the rules of society again

I shall never run from my pain and discomfort again

If I do run from my pain and discomfort, I shall be perfectly kind and loving to myself

I shall indulge in that reprieve and in those pleasures fully, letting any shame, guilt or self-judgment come fully into the light

I shall return with infinite patience

For my self, my body and the world move more freely now within this infinite patience

The limitations of self, body and the world vanish in this

Creativity flourishes here

Love and joy are natural here

No one could have told me that this infinite patience would have paid off in this way

I wouldn’t have believed it because it defies all human understanding

It goes against everything I have learned

I know the truth of this not because I was persuaded by others and not because I followed society’s way

I know this truth not by following all the others who were running away or chasing their bliss

I know this truth only by trusting this inner intuitive voice that said, “sit with infinite patience.”

I know this truth simply because it is my own experience

And nothing is more trustworthy than that

"Working with Dan has been nothing short of transformational. His open heart, honesty about his personal experience and permission to be real and not hide have helped me unlock those qualities in myself. And that has been a total game changer. I've been truly blessed, not only to have him as my KI Facilitator, but also as my mentor. Without a doubt, working with him has helped me to show up authentically, helped sharpen my tools and made me a better facilitator than I would've been on my own. I can't recommend him enough."
Darby Totten
Certified KI Facilitator

Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby. 

A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release. 

Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large. 

He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center. 

Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering. 

What is a Clarity Call?

What is a Clarity Call?

A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.

To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).

Valerie Vinger is a thriving survivor of life’s painful challenges and growth opportunities. She has worked with 12-step programs and is currently a 13-year stage-III cancer survivor. Her cancer recovery journey started with the traditional “cut, poison, burn” approach but eventually led her down a natural path to healing her body, her pain and suffering, and her buried emotions.

Valerie first stumbled upon Scott Kiloby at a workshop of his in Boulder, Colorado in 2012, which she says is one of the most transformative experiences she’s ever had. She is filled with gratitude for the person she has become through her journey with cancer recovery and with the Inquiries, which she describes as “coming home to myself.” She loves working with people who are ready for relief from their pain and suffering.

Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.

About Julianne:

For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.

In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.

In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.

In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.

Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.

I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.

As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.

So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament. 

I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!

Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world. 

I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.

Sumitra lives on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with some of her family. She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).

Sumitra also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple (though not always easy) deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.

Alina is a certified KI facilitator & a founder of Presence Alchemy – An advance mindfulness platform dedicated to liberating suffering & limiting core beliefs through Kiloby Inquiries & non-dual awareness. Presence Alchemy was born eight years into Alina’s embodiment journey of an inner shift from ego to wakefulness. Alina works one-on-one with clients, hosts online intensives and training, and organizes local retreats & workshops.
Alec Rodrigues has been certified to facilitate inquiry since 2015 and brings a keen sense of intuition to his work. He believes that in connection, the deepest healing takes place, that the mirror of relationship is the best crucible for transformation. Through rest and inquiry, Alec has found the empowerment to meet others authentically and stop running so damn fast from the seeming “ordinariness” of life.

He currently lives in Washington state with his girlfriend and works as a training assistant for the KI Personal Mentorship Program, where he empowers enrollees by teaching them the KI tools.