As you experience freedom from the belief in being deficient, it becomes naturally easier for you to move, act, and respond more selflessly and confidently in relationship, with a clear mind and an open, fearless heart. You don’t have to cultivate these qualities or put on an act about being loving or enlightened. That kind of new, manufactured self-image would only replace the old, deficient one. Selflessness and humility show up automatically when you see through the fundamental lie embedded in the words There’s something wrong with me.
When you no longer believe in the core deficient self, you have less need to define yourself and others through mental stories, as if those stories actually were who you and others really are. You can meet others freshly in the moment, without the mental masks that keep you feeling separate. At that point, the heart can’t help opening. You’re no longer trying to protect yourself from feeling the painful emotions that accompany the core deficiency story. Psychological self-protection is necessary only if you take that story to be your real identity.
Seeing through the sense of deficiency does not mean negating your individual skills, talents, and other qualities. You retain your own unique expressions. Seeing through your core deficiency story simply means no longer experiencing yourself as separate and deficient. Who you are is no longer wrapped up in what you think about yourself. You can relax and simply be in the moment, without having to compare and contrast yourself with others. You no longer need to engage in fruitless seeking, or try to control others, or alienate yourself from others. When you see the core deficiency story as false, you find that you want everybody to succeed, and what arises in you is a deep care and compassion for everyone and everything.
Love, freedom, peace, balance, equality, and compassion characterize human experience in relationship when the beliefs in separation and deficiency are seen through. But don’t take these words at face value, or merely as a new belief system. See for yourself. Let this reality become your direct experience. Do the inquiries.
From The Unfindable Inquiry: One Simple Tool to Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness and Find Inner Peace by Scott Kiloby