Stop And Observe

There is an aspect of our experience that never becomes disturbed, never suffers, and never seeks.

It never feels limited, contrived, or hurt.

This is awareness.  And recognizing it is as easy as stopping right now and noticing the capacity to observe.

You don’t have to think of this capacity to observe as a noun including tagging it with the words awareness, consciousness, witness, Oneness, or even “the capacity to observe.”  You don’t have to make awareness into some universal, absolute truth.  You can, but it isn’t necessary.

It never has to be named.  In fact, it never has to be referred to, through thought, except to communicate (like I’m doing here).  Excessively naming it tends to make it into something.  Yet, if you look closely, all of our names for it come and go to this capacity to observe.  Our greatest spiritual stories about awareness are like little flies that quickly fly by us.  The freedom is not in grabbing onto the little flies, or the little names and stories, but rather in letting each fly do what it naturally does.  Come and go, quickly, uninterruptedly.  This observing allows that to happen so freely.  Check it out.

Just stopping right in the middle of the usual entertaining of viewpoints that cause suffering is enough.

Stopping.

Observing our interior experience.  This means just looking at a thought, without judging it, without adding anything to it.

When we look in this way, we choose to look from this capacity to observe.  This observing presence is the aspect of our experience that never suffers.  It cannot suffer.  It can only observe.  It cannot live in a story of time.  It is aware of time as a set of viewpoints.

And the beautiful thing is that it observes everything, not only the arisings of thought, emotion and sensation in our interior experience, but also things that are perceived as exterior like other people, objects and experiences.

The world appears inseparably to this observing capacity.  So interior awareness (along with interior thoughts, emotions, and sensations) is inseparable from the exterior appearance of things.  Things are thoughts (stated simply).  This inseparability reveals what the Gospel of Thomas means when it says, “When you make the two one, and when you make the inside as the outside, and the outside as the inside, then shall you enter [the kingdom].”

The suffering and seeking happen when we don’t look from this capacity to observe and, instead, we go straight into the habitual viewpoints that we’ve been entertaining in the personal story for so long.

Just stop.  Observe.  See that self as a fiction.

Try it out.  You can always abandon this if it doesn’t work to reveal freedom.

The next time you find yourself lost in the story of “me,” STOP.  Observe that story.  Notice that what you really are is this observing.  The story is just something that appeared to this observing capacity.  You can actually choose not to follow that story or any other story that arises.  You can choose to stop and recognize yourself as this observing itself.

In stopping, the space of the present moment might start feeling more expansive and open.  Awareness might seem really big.  This is great.  But even those descriptions appear and disappear to the observing.  Big and small are little arisings in themselves.  Awareness is not a big container containing everything.  Don’t believe that myth.  See for yourself.  Look into your experience.  Notice that the container image is an image coming and going to the observing.  The observing is not a thing, so it is not big or small and it doesn’t contain things.  It cannot be contained.  Just see that you are thinking.  No matter how you conceive awareness, it is a thought and that thought is being observed.

Stopping the story long enough to observe is merely a practice.  At some point, the stopping isn’t necessary anymore, or even possible.

As you stick with this observing, everything observed moves so freely through that life starts to reveal itself as a perfect, seamless flow of experience.

When you are observing, you are aware of the flow of life.  As you see the inseparability of the observing and the arisings being observed, you ARE the flow.

All arisings are seen to be spontaneous.  Each moment is sewn seamlessly with the next.

Each thought bleeding out of thin air and back into it.  The line between the thin air and the thought or emotion observed within it is seen to disappear.  That line was only another fleeting concept.

Whatever noun you were placing on this observing (like “awareness” or “consciousness” or “nothing”) slips away, unable to hang there in the freeflow.  All spiritual insights get swept away, leaving no trace.

How beautiful it is to find ourselves here, in the sweetness of that flow.  Everything fleeting, fleeting, fleeting.  And then to see that the thought of being here, in that flow, is itself part of the flow.  Each thought is already the flow.

The fictitious self is already the flow and so it too is totally allowed.  And so trying to get rid of anything that arises starts to feel like a dog trying to get rid of dogness.  Futile.  Unnecessary.  Many things may fall away in this seeing.  But life continues.  The flow is made of stories, which come to be seen as transparent.  And the transparency of all things is what makes the flow available.  It is what makes change so wonderfully available.  Nothing is fixed and separate anymore.  Everything is movement, change, and love.  Perfection.  Everything has its place because everything is the flow, even those people, thoughts, emotions and other things that pretend to be out of the flow.

"Working with Dan has been nothing short of transformational. His open heart, honesty about his personal experience and permission to be real and not hide have helped me unlock those qualities in myself. And that has been a total game changer. I've been truly blessed, not only to have him as my KI Facilitator, but also as my mentor. Without a doubt, working with him has helped me to show up authentically, helped sharpen my tools and made me a better facilitator than I would've been on my own. I can't recommend him enough."
Darby Totten
Certified KI Facilitator

Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby. 

A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release. 

Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large. 

He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center. 

Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering. 

What is a Clarity Call?

What is a Clarity Call?

A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.

To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).

Valerie Vinger is a thriving survivor of life’s painful challenges and growth opportunities. She has worked with 12-step programs and is currently a 13-year stage-III cancer survivor. Her cancer recovery journey started with the traditional “cut, poison, burn” approach but eventually led her down a natural path to healing her body, her pain and suffering, and her buried emotions.

Valerie first stumbled upon Scott Kiloby at a workshop of his in Boulder, Colorado in 2012, which she says is one of the most transformative experiences she’s ever had. She is filled with gratitude for the person she has become through her journey with cancer recovery and with the Inquiries, which she describes as “coming home to myself.” She loves working with people who are ready for relief from their pain and suffering.

Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.

About Julianne:

For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.

In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.

In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.

In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.

Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.

I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.

As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.

So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament. 

I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!

Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world. 

I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.

Sumitra lives on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with some of her family. She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).

Sumitra also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple (though not always easy) deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.

Alina is a certified KI facilitator & a founder of Presence Alchemy – An advance mindfulness platform dedicated to liberating suffering & limiting core beliefs through Kiloby Inquiries & non-dual awareness. Presence Alchemy was born eight years into Alina’s embodiment journey of an inner shift from ego to wakefulness. Alina works one-on-one with clients, hosts online intensives and training, and organizes local retreats & workshops.
Alec Rodrigues has been certified to facilitate inquiry since 2015 and brings a keen sense of intuition to his work. He believes that in connection, the deepest healing takes place, that the mirror of relationship is the best crucible for transformation. Through rest and inquiry, Alec has found the empowerment to meet others authentically and stop running so damn fast from the seeming “ordinariness” of life.

He currently lives in Washington state with his girlfriend and works as a training assistant for the KI Personal Mentorship Program, where he empowers enrollees by teaching them the KI tools.