If our direct environment was not open, inclusive and permissive in relation to our experience, the result was that our basic emotions got mixed up with external reactions to them, which we gradually internalized.
We learned as children to be afraid of and bury or repress our feelings; it didn’t feel safe to show them.
That mechanism is still operating now. For example, if I’m afraid, then I become anxious because I have to hide my fear. If I’m angry, then I’ll get nervous because I can’t show it. If I’m happy, then shame arises with that, because the state of fulfillment and completeness was not acceptable to the other person. And so on.
Of course, we cannot be present when our emotions are mixed with reactions, and they are tied in a knot.
Somatic self-inquiry helps to untangle this misunderstanding of our experience.
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