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Do You Love Yourself?

Artwork by Paul Nash: https://www.paulnashart.com

I ask “do you love yourself?”

People often say “no.”

Some say “there is no self” and I say “yep, clearly seen, but do you love yourself?”

There is usually no response or they  go back to “there’s no self.”

My point is that all your life you’ve been turning away from really unconscious thoughts and feelings about how you don’t love yourself. And you don’t love those thoughts and feelings. 

Please don’t tell me there is no you before you love all those thoughts and feelings first. 

Just notice and love them.  Yes, from awareness.  Yes, from no self.  But love them.

You’re right.  There is no you.  There never was.  There is only programming appearing right here as you.  That programming is resistance. That’s what ego really is.  When those thoughts and feelings arise, there is resistance. 

I can’t trust you if you say there is no self unless that resistance is met.  You also can’t use the “I am awareness” or “I am THAT” as a response here.  Seen. Realized.  These realizations, when not embodied including the resistance, trauma, repression etc, are energetically dead.

And please don’t tell me you love me if you don’t love yourself.  Until you can love your own rage and terror you can’t love me.  That’s what you hate in yourself and so that’s what you hate in me.  I love you so much I’m willing to tell you this even if you hate me for it. 

My question to you is something much simpler than any of that. 

Do you love yourself?

When these thoughts and feelings arise, is there an allowing, making friends with and loving?

When the resistance arises, can you love that?

What if the trauma and repression hide because they are scared to arise?

Would you go looking for those lost children to love them too?

You get so much out of this, everything you ever wanted.

You get to love yourself but that includes the rage, terror and shame, not just the peace, bliss and joy.  You get to see that there is no self. 

You get to see that there was really only this programming of resistance.  And you get to love it for the rest of your life!

But most of all, you get to see it die.  Anything that is loved that deeply just transmutes into love. And that’s where you are left, my love. ❤️

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Meet with Dan
"Working with Dan has been nothing short of transformational. His open heart, honesty about his personal experience and permission to be real and not hide have helped me unlock those qualities in myself. And that has been a total game changer. I've been truly blessed, not only to have him as my KI Facilitator, but also as my mentor. Without a doubt, working with him has helped me to show up authentically, helped sharpen my tools and made me a better facilitator than I would've been on my own. I can't recommend him enough."
Darby Totten
Certified KI Facilitator

Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby. 

A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release. 

Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large. 

He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center. 

Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering. 

Meet with Dan

What is a Clarity Call?

What is a Clarity Call?

A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.

To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).

Valerie Vinger is a thriving survivor of life’s painful challenges and growth opportunities. She has worked with 12-step programs and is currently a 13-year stage-III cancer survivor. Her cancer recovery journey started with the traditional “cut, poison, burn” approach but eventually led her down a natural path to healing her body, her pain and suffering, and her buried emotions.

Valerie first stumbled upon Scott Kiloby at a workshop of his in Boulder, Colorado in 2012, which she says is one of the most transformative experiences she’s ever had. She is filled with gratitude for the person she has become through her journey with cancer recovery and with the Inquiries, which she describes as “coming home to myself.” She loves working with people who are ready for relief from their pain and suffering.
Meet with Julianne
"Julianne was one of my first choices as Senior Facilitator when I began training people in the Living Inquiries. I have known and worked with her for many years. She is a superb facilitator! She works hand in hand with me on a daily basis on every aspect of the development and training in this work. I have 100% confidence that anyone who is facilitated by her will be impressed by her level of skill and ability to facilitate anything that comes up in a session. I recommend her highly!"
Scott Kiloby
Scott KilobyCo-Founder, The Kiloby Inquiries
“Julianne holds a wonderful space to inquire within. She has the beautiful combination of being able to challenge me, while holding me in a totally safe space; both of which are necessary to support true growth. She’s a really skilled facilitator, and at the same time as facilitating the session she is also teaching to empower me to be able to do more inquiry on my own. She’s right there with me throughout the entire session, in a beautiful space of presence that allows my process to unfold. Julianne is also proving to be a wonderful role model for me in terms of how to be with my inner process, which is very much appreciated. I’m really thankful for the opportunity to inquire with Julianne.”
Jo Hainsworth
“If you want to know what it is to be free of suffering, to be free of wanting, then I invite you to consider something different. These inquiries, a simple form of direct looking, lead to an unmasking of spiritual words and stories and, paradoxically, to revealing that to which they point as experience beyond the narrow, mind-made world of concepts… I don’t have a good word for the experience, but peace is as good a one as any.”
Wayne
“It’s so amazing how in such a small period of time so many beliefs that seemed unquestionably true turned upside down once I looked with honesty and the beautiful guidance of Julianne Eanniello. I feel so lucky to be experiencing this kind of freedom… And it’s not the freedom from experience which I always thought I wanted, but it’s the freedom of being ok with present experience, letting it be just as it is – which is a so much better version of freedom!!!! If you still haven’t tried the inquiries, by all means give it a try and you might find yourself writing a message like this with a huge smile on your face!”
Tony
“What strikes me most about Julianne as a trainer is her unending patience and deep kindness. Not once during the training was I made to feel less-than, or like a question I had to offer wasn’t valid. Julianne brings a sense of safety, of whatever comes up being okay, that was so sorely lacking from the educational contexts I grew up in. As a group, we developed a precious sense of comradery and vulnerability under her wing. On a personal level, I absorbed an understanding of inquiry that went beyond the techniques in question. Thanks again, Julianne!”
Alec Rodrigues
Alec RodriguesCertified Kiloby Inquiries Facilitator
“Julianne is an excellent trainer and facilitator, truly committed to being of service to others. She took a sincere interest in those of us in our cohort, and she created a safe and non-judgmental environment in which to learn and deepen our own personal work. Under Julianne’s skillful guidance, I not only learned the essential tools in the Kiloby Inquiries, but also saw modeled how they can be astutely applied through her demonstrations and personal sessions with me. Julianne is patient, authentic, and personable, and she holds a wealth of knowledge that she is always happy to share. The foundation Julianne lays is very strong, and I know I have learned sound Kiloby Inquiry methods as a result of her expert guidance.”
Meredith Markow
"Julianne is an exceptional teacher, an exemplar of the very approach that she teaches. Her skill, intuition, openness to change, are attributes of the very reason we do this work. But most of all, Julianne knows how to be 'with' us, that is, present to this moment to what arises. I support her continued work in this modality, and to be honest, any."
Mike Unrau
"A SESSION WITH JULIANNE

It begins with Spaciousness and ends with Spaciousness
All phenomena rise and fall within
The feel of Julianne facilitating
is that of Presence in motion
Fluid Emptiness
Nureyev in Pirouette, Pavarotti singing opera,
Jordan from the baseline
She moves from Open Space to present moment
zeroing in on each topic of healing
All Allowed, all included in the vast field of Acceptance
Patience that has no finish line
Resistances welcomed as old friends
With Julianne you have available the experiential wisdom gained
from having conducted thousands of KI sessions
All the Tools are embodied in this Sacred Environment---
NOW, Pendulating, Reversing, Mining, Utility
Opening, Releasing, Resting
Emptying velcroed pictures, images, feelings and words
Relaxing body contractions and pain
“What does that sensation mean about you?”
“What’s the worst that could happen if that is true?”
“Let that be just as it is…let that be just as it is”
Unfreezing identifications of thinking you are someone,
somewhere, in some time
Returning energy to Seamless Flow
The collapsing of particle into wave… into Ocean
“So where’s the problem?”
Can you call it Holding Space if no one is holding it?
Can you call it Love if there is not two being together?
It is said that Helen of Troy’s face launched a thousand ships
This Beauty opens 10,000 Hearts"
Kaveen
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Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.

About Julianne:

For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.

In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.

In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.

In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.

Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.

I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.

Meet with Sumitra
"I don’t know where to start when talking about Sumitra because she is like the heart of our work in the sense that when you are being facilitated by her, it’s like being held in loving parental arms that are extending unconditional love to you, where no matter what painful or scary stuff comes up for you, her calm demeanor and tons of years of experience place you in the greatest hands. I know this firsthand because she has facilitated me."
Scott Kiloby
Scott KilobyCo-Creator of the Kiloby Inquiries
“I have sat with countless therapists and practitioners over the years in an attempt to heal early trauma, so it was a surprise when I had my first session with Sumitra to discover that I had not experienced someone holding a space of 100% acceptance for me before. As I’m highly dissociative and amnesic for my early life, in the past there would inevitably come a point where I would sense the facilitator’s frustration at what they perceived to be my “resistance”. Sumitra instead continually held the most loving, gentle and accepting space; and rapidly became a role model for me so that I could learn to do that for myself. Sumitra is a very skilled facilitator – she drops the perfect question in when needed to help me open to my experience, and is comfortable remaining quiet and simply holding a space when things are naturally unfolding. I will always be thankful for the incredibly loving and safe space that Sumitra holds, and her skill as a facilitator.”
Jo
“Our facilitation was like no other experience I have had with facilitation in that Sumitra was just present for me. She witnessed, she held such a deep space and guided me through a self-facilitation process intertwined with the Living Inquiry principles, so that I was able to see that the pain and sadness I felt were OK. She sat with me while I wept and it was one of the most cleansing experiences of my life.”
Ann
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As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.

So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament. 

I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!

Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world. 

I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.

Sumitra lives in Eugene, Oregon, US.  She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).

Working with compulsions – especially regarding food – is a special interest for Sumitra. 

She also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.

Meet with Sumitra
Meet with Alina
"I see now that my purpose in life is to learn how to live from that place of stillness. Every thought, idea, etc. that comes from there is the most real. When you transport me into a moment of stillness my breathing changes, the pattern of thoughts changes as well. My body feels light, and this is the time when I don't feel separation. I deeply thank you for the gifts you are giving to the people, your energy is helping me to transcend."
Olena Potyeyeva
Olena PotyeyevaFounder of UniMassage
"Co-hosting the Mystical Birth workshops with Alina had been a wonderful experience. I had a lot to learn from her wisdom and the impact on the attendants was nothing but extraordinary. Alina is a self-accomplished human being, with a lot to offer. If you have the chance to work with her or to be in her presence, don't miss the opportunity. She is the real deal!"
Dan Motoc
Dan MotocFounder of Shamanica Institute
"Meditating with Alina is always a pleasure! I have been to many meditation circles, but this one is special. I find myself diving deep into the inner peace and bliss of pure consciousness. The discourse and discussion afterward are always informative and thought-provoking. One feels that they can be themselves and express whatever they are going through, ever since I discovered it, I have attended every session."
Bader Soma
Bader SomaPianist at Purnima Studios – Bader Soma Piano
"Alina has an obvious gift to channel and speak truth, from truth, as truth. She is a light in this world, and her desire to spark the light in others is palpable and a joy to experience. Thank you!"
Riley Drever
Riley DreverCo-founder of Authentic Montreal
"I like your voice when you guide the meditation; it makes it so easy to follow. It’s like the truth is revealing through your body. I felt a lot of space in myself and consciousness around during the meditation… feeling peaceful."
Laure-Adélie Coisne
Laure-Adélie CoisneStudent, France
"I attended Alina's Natural Rest meeting on Tuesday last week. Wow! I was blown away by how deep I went with her guided meditation and knew I'd like to work with her. The one thing I was particularly interested in was natural rest because (on my own) I realized that when I shifted my attention from my head to my chest I experienced an immediate sensation of peace and relief. I'm signing up for Alina's KI mentorship training and now doing some excavating with lots of support. KI is the perfect bridge between spirituality and humanity. Kudos to you for designing this system - a lot of blood, sweat and tears no doubt. With much appreciation and gratitude."
Lorraine Carol
"Alina, you are such a moving testament to KI. The story you share here, brought me to tears! Thank you, for being eloquent, candid and open with us. Much love to you!"
Renee
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Alina! This brought me to tears. Your expressions here are so clear and resonant with me, more so I think than I’ve ever heard from anyone before. It may not really make much sense as I explain my personal experience with KI, and this group as a whole, but I sense such similar clearings or releasing of old programs as I ‘attempt’ to self inquire, which I still feel I’m not that great at on my own, but when I hear you express here, as well as so many others, it’s as though these personal accounts of others somehow reach within myself and ‘tamper’ and ‘tune’ my own mechanisms that have been in place, and in so doing there is a certain amount or at least a sense of this‘freedom’ I so often hear others that have been doing the practices here. As you say, it’s so ordinary most of the time, and yet it’s so much more restful and comforting than being in that constant state of survival, seeking, and dis-regulation. I love this video! I honestly can’t imagine such a beautiful radiant being/energy as I witness here ever having had issues with not feeling you could create a video!!! You are a natural and this gift to us is immeasurable, imo. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Lawrence
"I had a spontaneous interesting “practice” occur the other day. It is thanks to the inquiries with you, I've had a greater observation of my thoughts throughout the days. That “looking inwards” mode lingers after the sessions. I was looking in the mirror at myself, and was aware that thoughts are still going... then it occurred to me that in the mirror you cannot see those thoughts. What are those thoughts, anyways... so bizarre, that we cannot see them? Just like the sound around. It brought more detachment from thinking. It sounds obvious that of course you cannot see the thoughts in the mirror but there was something about that, there was a space and a great sense of neutrality! Our sessions help me to be more aware and present in my body. Nothing goes unnoticed. "
Rebecca
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Kiloby Inquiries all dimension certified trainer & facilitator ✅.  

 

I am a non bypassing non-dual teacher with 13 years of direct experience. Waking up and abiding in our true nature was not enough. Some unconscious repressed fear was debilitating my expression for years. Stepping into the power of my voice fully was only possible with KI. In 2020 signing up to KI training with Scott and Dan changed the trajectory and the quality of my life and work. I released loads of repressed shame and anger from my system and now am able to let live manifest and express effortlessly. And I know you can live and be the fullest free expression of YOU!

 

I am so passionate about this method of deprograming & embodiment that I am here to inspire others to experience it for themselves. These tools and my perseverance in experimenting with them brought effortlessness, ease in the unknown, financial abundance, freedom of expression, burst of creativity and such a fulfilling work environment, where everyone is honoring integrity, authenticity and inner deepening. I’ve learned so much from all my fellow trainees and clients, it’s been such a privilege to hold space and witness their growth and transformation. I’ve been training in KI with Scott and on my own since 2021 and now so excited to train all dimensions training for full immersion in this work. 

 

I have experience working with: parents and children, childhood trauma, repression of voice/power/expression, non-dual bypassing, spiritual seeking, emotional repression, addiction, chronic pain, abuse, sexual abuse, sexual repression, depression, PTSD, birth trauma mother and baby, grief and loss, couples counseling, lack and scarcity mindset. 

 

I can help you move beyond suffering and fear into the world more fully with your gifts, authenticity and uniqueness recognizing your unbroken, true nature. 

 
Meet with Alina
Meet with Alec
"Alec is highly skilled at facilitating the inquiries. He has a keen intuitive sense of what needs to happen in a session and how to gently and safely guide you to your inner sanctum where your hurt resides. He remains your constant companion throughout, and has an open curiosity that leaves you feeling safe to explore and free yourself from your thoughts and beliefs that hold you back from living a fulfilling, empowered life. I highly recommend Alec!"
Julianne Eanniello
Julianne EannielloSenior Living Inquiries & KI Facilitator/Trainer
"I've really enjoyed my sessions with Alec. He's helped me find and unearth very deeply rooted beliefs and creatively guided me through the unhooking process. His sweet nature and clear presence create a very safe place to be me and to allow whatever surfaces during the session without shame or embarrassment. We also have a lot of unexpected fun from time to time with what arises. I'm happy to recommend him. 🙂"
Darby Totten
Darby TottenCertified KI Facilitator
"I would like to express my gratitude and love to Alec for the inquiry sessions he so kindly offered. Not only is Alec kind and compassionate, he has the skills and presence to be of real assistance. He helped me break through the stressful feelings, thoughts, and body sensations that I have been experiencing during this difficult time of home sheltering and isolation. He has a very generous heart and I’m so grateful to work with him."
Monica HoytNew York, NY
"I was going through difficulties in my relationship. Getting a moment to sit with Alec made a big difference both in terms of how I felt and how authentically I was able to be with my partner. Having a moment to be with a facilitator who accepts you and all your emotions without a hint of judgment is precious. When you sit with Alec, this unconditional acceptance is palpable. This makes him a very good facilitator and I warmly recommend trying a session with him."
Juuso VolttiCertified KI Facilitator, Vantaa, Finland
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Alec Rodrigues has been certified to facilitate inquiry since 2015 and brings a keen sense of intuition to his work. He believes that in connection, the deepest healing takes place, that the mirror of relationship is the best crucible for transformation. Through rest and inquiry, Alec has found the empowerment to meet others authentically and stop running so damn fast from the seeming “ordinariness” of life.

He currently lives in Washington state with his girlfriend and works as a training assistant for the KI Personal Mentorship Program, where he empowers enrollees by teaching them the KI tools.
Meet with Alec