Unconscious programming to repress emotions is like a mother trying to get her child to like a certain food that is actually undesirable for her. The mother forces the ‘steamed broccoli’ into her child until she gradually believes that she likes it.
At first, it is almost painful for the child to swallow. She might even cry and throw tantrums. Then she slowly gets used to the taste, and so finally, she gradually believes that steamed broccoli is delicious. Then the painful, nagging, and violent process of getting used to the taste of steamed broccoli is slowly forgotten.
The child’s taste, system, and body would actually rather push broccoli out of her, but the mother’s clever programming makes her believe that it is good for her because otherwise, she can’t play on the computer, or the mother will be angry with her. So she will fall out of her favor. Or she is told that she has to eat healthy at least once a day so she doesn’t get sick, and so on…
So the child’s intelligent, natural, and intuitive realization that broccoli doesn’t resonate with her is perfectly fine, but because she doesn’t want to lose her mom, the computer game, or her health, she unconsciously convinces herself that she actually likes broccoli.
It’s the same with emotional repression. I suppress the feeling that was not allowed in the family environment and then unconsciously maintain this repression in order to continue to be accepted. If mom gets angry with me or turns away from me because I express my anger, I learn not to express it so that she continues to accept, love, and pay attention to me.
So, unconscious repression may seem to be for my own good, but in reality, I’m just giving up myself (and ‘my taste’) in an attempt to stay alive and adjust to something that was never natural to me.
Emotional repression is not natural. It’s an unconscious survival mechanism that can be reversed with the somatic inquiry of compassionate deprogramming.
To work with Serena, please click here.