“Trauma is not what happened to you, but that you couldn’t talk to anyone about it.” – Gábor Máté
Were you able to love and have compassion for yourself when something traumatic, difficult, or shocking happened to you? Honestly, I could never do that. I froze, shut down, pretended, or went into self-hate and hardness instantly. In other words, I lost consciousness—so much that I couldn’t feel what was happening during the traumatic experience. I couldn’t be there for myself. I wasn’t able to be present.
The traumatic programming happened in my direct experience, but I couldn’t see it. Compassion and love for myself weren’t my automatic responses at all.
So why do I emphasize again and again that emotional-repression inquiry and trauma work comprise a compassionate deprogramming process? Because for a while, until it becomes natural for us (again), we must bring in compassion and love intentionally. If we are lucky, we can remember how natural compassion and love were before the traumatic event or relationship. But if we aren’t (just as I’m not), then we simply recognize and experience compassion and love as they arise with the process.
By feeling compassion for what is seen and intentional love towards (into) what is felt, we can bring our most painful wounds, our darkest mechanisms, and our most abandoned emotions into awareness. This is like giving a gift to ourselves. As we face the most horrible and emotionally difficult moments, awareness is like a compassionate friend, holding our hands and not letting go. This is a very powerful experience.
Compassion and love are our most natural state of being. That is why we call this process Natural Recovery—reversing all the extremes back to their natural state and harmony.
All we need is skillful somatic inquiry, compassion, and love. Processing just happens through that.
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