Are you Ready to be Deprogrammed?

(Even from what you think you know about enlightenment?)

There’s a kind of ironic cosmos joke being played on us – those of us who have chosen the “enlightenment” or presence path. Presence has the capacity to truly free us from ego-based, self-limiting beliefs and bring us directly into living in peace, love, compassion and wisdom. But just as the ego can be programmed to believe just about anything, it can also become programmed around these teachings.

If you are new to this path, please read my books called “Reflections of the One Life” or “Living Realization” both available on Amazon. Most of all, please read the last chapter of my book “Love’s Quiet Revolution, The End of the Spiritual Search.” These books and that last chapter were designed to speak to never letting the fresh insights and realizations around presence become stagnant second hand knowledge, things that we regurgitate as memory rather living and experiencing directly. That chapter was written when I was clearly seeing that debates about religion and spirituality are actually not coming from religion or spirituality. They are coming from ego.

I also recommend the following list of teachers that I remain open to endorsing as good and balanced resources for this subject: anything from Jeff Foster, Adyashanti, Greg Goode, Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle. These teachers all have different approaches. But I know many of them personally and I can assure you that they all have in common one very special thing: They tell the truth in the sense that they rarely claim to be enlightened.

As Adyashanti once said, sooner or later we wake up out of our awakening so that we don’t even hold onto our own ideas about what has happened to us or what that means, all so that we don’t become broken records regurgitating endlessly the language of nondual or other spiritual teachings.

Nobody has the right teaching

Nobody has the right teaching. Good teachers merely act as guides to greater clarity. In a recent blog, I expounded on this idea of never claiming that one is enlightened, and instead focusing on awakening as a spectrum, where we each carry a different degree of clarity and freedom from ego along the spectrum. Check it out here. If you resonated with it, you may find yourself “done” with any teachers who do not acknowledge that clarity exists on a spectrum and that there is no static fixed state called enlightenment or even liberation. I mean…come on…nonduality prides itself on the insight that nothing in reality is fixed.

We can’t push people into becoming interested in these subjects. That would be just more proselytizing and bible thumping. Haven’t we had enough of that? And yet it can feel like wanting to scream from the top of a mountain, “Hey, all humanity, you don’t have to suffer anymore, we now have inquiry.”

But people are only ready for this work when they are ready.

You can scream from the top of that mountain all you want, but some simply don’t have the ears to hear it yet.

So Now What?

This means we can surrender any attempts to make inquiry into a religion or even a belief system. It is merely in invitation to explore whether your conditioning is who you really are or is there a TRUE SELF behind it all. Isn’t that worth investigating? Yes, but it’s not worth pushing on people. People must be drawn to waking up on their own.

Whenever anyone of us feels a strong need to convince, push, or argue with someone who can’t hear what we are saying about the enormous and transformative effects of enlightenment or inquiry, why not go into inquiry ourselves to see where all that convincing energy is coming from. Most likely it is coming from fear, control, or helpfulness. These kinds of emotions are some of the driving forces behind cults and religions. So we are doing exactly what many people hate that cults and religions do.

What is being offered here is an anti-cult movement, a simple place where people can safely go to investigate and dissolve away the living past that continues to sabotage their futures.

Spiritual seekers stand within a relative power imbalance. We look to those teachers who stand above us appearing larger than life and seemingly very clear spiritually and who claim to be fully liberated. If we perceive that the teacher has very few unresolved human issues and truly seems free, we feel naturally drawn to that teacher via our own deficiency story that draws us to people who we think can fix us. But in time, if we slowly start to see the human issues of that teacher, the stuff that still gets triggered, we are finally given a wider and more realistic view. If a teacher cannot actually own his own triggers (BE TRANSPARENT), then you can rest assured that this teacher has not worked with shame skillfully (and may be voiding it) and therefore cannot claimed to be fully awakened because shame is a big part of ego. You may find other teachers who dismiss the need to discuss trauma or deficiency (or may be avoiding it). Rest assured that both science and our independent studies as the Kiloby Center for Recovery are pointing more and more to the fact that to really live in the present moment, one must resolve these deep strands of conditioning that keep pulling us back into ruminating on past and worrying about future (which is where all the suffering resides because painful emotions and sensations are connected to negative past and future thoughts).

Beyond the teachers I’ve recommended above, personally I trust Kiloby Inquiries (KI) facilitators the most. I tried everything in the world through the years of my seeking days and nothing brings me greater clarity than KI. These certified facilitators of KI know how NOT to run a session just asking someone to rest as awareness the whole time. Although that approach is simple and direct, many nondual teachings rely too much on this practice, which often fails to reach the deeper conditioning hiding below the radar in the unconscious. We corrected this mistake with the Kiloby Inquiries. Resting in awareness is definitely a key component of KI. But awareness is not the REASON for all the human sticky ego issues we experience nor can it be the best anti-dote to suffering all by itself. Why not? It’s a one-sided approach that doesn’t always fully acknowledge that our suffering is programmed into the phenomena that come and go in Awareness (thoughts, emotions and sensations) and that within this phenomena lies the experience of suffering. So to stick around nondual teachings who focus only on coming back to awareness can feel half-baked. Because awareness turns on the proverbial light of our being so that we can see and feel more directly, it can lead to a resurgence of old trauma once hiding below the surface but now arising in the thoughts, feelings and sensations that carry the past with them. Those old thoughts, feelings and sensations join together with present circumstances to create a current traumatic response. As this happens over and over in a person’s life, it can be quite debilitating, leading to PTSD symptoms that can be very disruptive in one’s life.

Bottom line: resting as awareness, by itself, is just not enough in most cases to uproot these deeper strands of conditioning. If one doesn’t address these deeper strands through skillful inquiry, something will always feel less than free about your existence. We can turn anything into dogma, even the denial that there is such a thing as bypassing is a kind of dogma. The belief that trauma has nothing to do with whether you become liberated is a false myth. Bypassing happens, but only with everyone!! Turn away from teachings or methods that do not look at awakening as having to transform all levels of your being – mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. When we include all those components in our awareness, rather than bypassing (avoiding) them, we finally start to heal in a holistic and fundamental way. It becomes easier to drop addictions and obsessions. Traumas get resolved. It becomes easier to not feel the need to react when you are triggered. It becomes easier just to remain in your own inquiry process instead of trying to change all the people out there who are triggering you, which as many of you know, doesn’t work very well. Most of all, it brings an unshakable peace, compassion, love and simplicity to life.


Going Within

In a sense, when we start to resonate with nonduality, enlightenment teachings, or self-inquiry as the right path for us, we begin to see that most of our suffering is not contained somewhere out in the world. The pain is within us, from past trauma and programming by parents and society. From that pain, we see a world that comes straight from our programming. We are literally each watching our own subjective version of the world, made largely from our subjective conditioning. We are watching a programmed TV which we call “mind.” There is no objective world. It’s the mind that says what’s out there. Without mind, when sitting in meditative silence, there is no “out there.” What we are really seeing are thoughts, emotions and sensations that give us a PROJECTED subjective MOVIE in our minds. That’s not reality. That’s looking at reality through the veil of your programming. Without deconstructing this movie, we are destined to continue in the existing program, which leads us back to the endless cycle of seeking, suffering, self-sabotage, and self-destruction in our lives

Are you ready to be deprogrammed, even from what you think you know about enlightenment or liberation?

For more info on this balanced approach to freedom, you may contact Scott Kiloby for at kilobyinfo@gmail.com .

For information on training with Scott, click here.

"Working with Dan has been nothing short of transformational. His open heart, honesty about his personal experience and permission to be real and not hide have helped me unlock those qualities in myself. And that has been a total game changer. I've been truly blessed, not only to have him as my KI Facilitator, but also as my mentor. Without a doubt, working with him has helped me to show up authentically, helped sharpen my tools and made me a better facilitator than I would've been on my own. I can't recommend him enough."
Darby Totten
Certified KI Facilitator

Dan McLintock is a Certified Facilitator, Trainer and the Co-Developer of the Kiloby Inquiries method/approach the New Model of Recovery along w Scott Kiloby. 

A Jacksonville, Florida native, Dan graduated Flagler College in 2004 with B.A. in Theatre Arts and English Literature and has played music professionally in bands for over 20 years. But his true passion lies in sharing the context, possibility and practicality of healing, awakening and release. 

Dan has worked one-on-one with clients in and out of the Kiloby Center since 2017 and has an unconditionally loving and earnest approach to healing trauma, dissolving the drivers of addiction/suffering and unhooking long-held toxic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world at large. 

He’s also worked intensively, side-by-side with Scott Kiloby for the past three years to develop the transformative tools of the Kiloby Inquiries as well as the principles and approach of the “New Model of Recovery” rooted in unconditional love and non-judgment. Much of this approach was borne out of Scott and Dan’s work with each other on their own personal traumas as well as their work with clients at the Kiloby Center. 

Scott and Dan have simplified, demystified and condensed some of the principles and practices of eastern/non-dual spirituality into an easily accessible set of tools most anyone can understand, learn and utilize to free themselves from their own suffering. 

What is a Clarity Call?

What is a Clarity Call?

A clarity call is a free 30-minute introductory call with a Certified KI Facilitator. During a clarity call, you can ask any questions you have about KI and see whether a particular facilitator is a good fit for you.

To book a clarity call, select your preferred facilitator (hover over their picture and click the “Meet” button). Then, enter your email and click “Book Your Call.” From there, you’ll be able to select your preferred date and time and schedule your clarity call (please double-check your time zone before booking).

Valerie Vinger is a thriving survivor of life’s painful challenges and growth opportunities. She has worked with 12-step programs and is currently a 13-year stage-III cancer survivor. Her cancer recovery journey started with the traditional “cut, poison, burn” approach but eventually led her down a natural path to healing her body, her pain and suffering, and her buried emotions.

Valerie first stumbled upon Scott Kiloby at a workshop of his in Boulder, Colorado in 2012, which she says is one of the most transformative experiences she’s ever had. She is filled with gratitude for the person she has become through her journey with cancer recovery and with the Inquiries, which she describes as “coming home to myself.” She loves working with people who are ready for relief from their pain and suffering.

Julianne Eanniello is a Certified Trainer and Facilitator of both the Kiloby Inquiries and the Unfindability Inquiries (formerly called the Living Inquiries). She is also a Certified TRE Practitioner, and the developer of the somatic movement process called Natural Flow Movement. She works with clients all over the world on virtually any topic, including spiritual seeking, stress, anxiety, depression, pain and health related issues, traumatic experiences, repression, relationship issues, and general unhappiness with ourselves and our lives. She does this through online sessions, deepening courses, workshops and facilitator certification training.

About Julianne:

For most of my life I’ve wondered who I am and why I am here. As I was growing up, no one else seemed to be talking about these things, or even thinking about them, so I buried it deep inside and tried my best to fit in the way I was “supposed” to, all the while feeling like there was something desperately wrong with me and that I needed to fix it.

In my early thirties, the death of a young relative left me feeling hopeless and helpless, wondering what is the point of life if we’re all just going to die anyway? This launched me on a search. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, I just knew that there was a longing – a desperate longing for something that actually made sense about life. I learned several alternative spiritual and healing techniques. I meditated. I read books and watched videos. I eventually learned of non-duality teachings, and I read more books, watched more videos, and even sat with several ‘awakened’ teachers. Yet I was still searching, something still felt missing. I was looking for the key that would unlock the mystery of me and of life.

In my early forties, I developed a chronic health condition that left me unable to work for several years, and most days barely able to get out of bed due to extreme fatigue, brain fog and pain. I lost my banking job, and eventually lost my home. I saw a multitude of doctors to try to find out what was wrong with me, and used every tool in my metaphysical and alternative medicine toolkit to try to heal myself. My seeking became even more intense, and I was looking for a way to escape my pain.

In 2009, I met Scott Kiloby. Since I started working with him and doing the Living Inquiries, the seeking for enlightenment has stopped, and the question of ‘who am I’ is no longer relevant. My victim stories around my health started falling away. Once I started looking at my experience through inquiry, everything changed. I stopped chasing something ‘out there.’ I no longer seek some future state of happiness or peace. This is not to say that I don’t have problems, or ever experience pain. Quite the contrary. I still use the inquiries regularly, and now there is much less avoidance or resistance to what I’m experiencing. I experience more and more freedom in the present moment, exactly as it appears.

Having trained with Scott, I was one of the first to be certified as a Senior Living Inquiries Facilitator and Trainer in early 2012. In 2014, I moved to CA and became a business partner with Scott at The Kiloby Center for Recovery, where we worked with people suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and more for the next 8 years.

I can’t imagine my life without these inquiries. They saved me from myself. If you are still suffering, searching, longing… I encourage you to give this a try.

As a young child I saw a picture of Jesus gazing lovingly at some children around his feet. I immediately longed for the unconditional love I saw in his gaze. At the same time, I was being read fairy tales, like Cinderella, and came to believe that romantic love would satisfy that longing for love.

So, I married my handsome prince at age 19. But then, by age 29, I found myself alone, as a single mother, with four young children. I was devastated and convinced that something was terribly wrong with me, to have ended up in such a predicament. 

I had learned to love and please others, but not how to love and respect myself. I was a “good girl,” and repressed my urges to have my own needs acknowledged and met. A wise teacher later told me, “We need to love everyone, including ourselves.” This was an amazing revelation for me!

Learning to meditate helped immensely to bring moments of peace, while I was sitting still, though I was still being triggered regularly in my relationships. Finally, the Kiloby Inquiries taught me how to turn my attention inside in daily life – towards the trapped thoughts and emotions I’d been running from – so that I could face and release them. It was like some tender, lost children began coming home, to take their rightful place in my inner world. 

I am honored and excited to be able to facilitate these wonderful inquiries for others.

Sumitra lives on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with some of her family. She has four grown children and six grandchildren. For many years she lived and worked in a yoga retreat community in California, and has taught yoga, meditation and Compassionate Communication in addition to facilitating the tools of the Kiloby Inquiries (since 2013).

Sumitra also loves working with couples and others with relationship challenges in a simple (though not always easy) deep listening practice that allows each person to be truly heard and acknowledged.

Alina is a certified KI facilitator & a founder of Presence Alchemy – An advance mindfulness platform dedicated to liberating suffering & limiting core beliefs through Kiloby Inquiries & non-dual awareness. Presence Alchemy was born eight years into Alina’s embodiment journey of an inner shift from ego to wakefulness. Alina works one-on-one with clients, hosts online intensives and training, and organizes local retreats & workshops.
Alec Rodrigues has been certified to facilitate inquiry since 2015 and brings a keen sense of intuition to his work. He believes that in connection, the deepest healing takes place, that the mirror of relationship is the best crucible for transformation. Through rest and inquiry, Alec has found the empowerment to meet others authentically and stop running so damn fast from the seeming “ordinariness” of life.

He currently lives in Washington state with his girlfriend and works as a training assistant for the KI Personal Mentorship Program, where he empowers enrollees by teaching them the KI tools.